Those who know, know. But for everyone else wondering “what’s the deal with all the Adidas?”, here’s a little story about the ridiculousness that has three-striped my life (and a few costumes), so you can be in on the inside joke too. It all started a few years ago before a transatlantic flight from Houston to London…
Picture this (above): we’re in the United Club at IAH having some pre-flight cocktails, as one does. I’m sitting beside my husband, Jerome, and across from our travel companions. He gets up to go to the restroom, which is a normal occurance, and I continue to visit with our friends. When he comes back, I pay no attention to him until he sighs heavily and says “I’m going to be soooooo comfortable on this flight.” I look over at him, all decked out from head to toe in the brightest dumbest blue tracksuit I’ve ever seen and say “the fuck are you wearing?!” We all laughed, I took a photo of him, and posted it on Facebook hoping to shame him. He wore this monstrosity on our British Isles cruise later that week as well, just to spite me. I posted that as well. The nerve of this guy. Well, I think my reaction to this mid-life crisis, spousal rebellion, or whatever it was, and his utter smugness, inspired many of our friends to buy tracksuits of their own in solidarity with him. They’re multiplying!?!
Alright, so I played along at home as a joke, and wore one of his stupid tracksuits thinking a little reverse psychology would put an end to this idiocy. It didn’t. Oh yeah, and he has several tracksuits now. He’s lost his damn mind. He and many of our friends. Weirdos.
Our DragonCon friends took it a step further and planned an Adidas costume group for Sunday night of the convention. It’s usually hot and crowded so casual drinking attire is most welcome. But not this. I was not giving in and buying a damn tracksuit. I did however get too tipsy at Thanksgiving and ordered a strapless Adidas jumpsuit, thinking if I had to play along I’d at least look less stupid. Then I had the bright idea of making the jumpsuit into a curtain dress inspired by Carol Burnett’s skit “Went With the Wind” but like, Adidasified. I surprised everyone, and even took a few people out with the curtain rod. *smiles in evil*
[Related: Went With the Adidas: A Carol Burnett Curtain Dress Costume Mash-Up]
Fast forward to the next Thanksgiving and everyone (but me) planned to wear their motherfucking Adidas tracksuits. Like, this is getting out of hand, guys. So my original response was to wear an Adidas skirt, and then decided to add three stripes to Buddy and Jovi costumes from Elf and surprise everyone yet again. I still wasn’t going to give in to this nonsense!
OH, COME ON!! Our friend and doggie sitter bought tracksuits for Tegan and Amelia so I guess it’s officially out of hand now. Officially. They do look cute though. I guess there’s only one thing left to do…
If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! I went shopping for a tracksuit of my own. Black with pink stripes, of course. Jerome and his three-striped army won the war. Damn it!
You’d be surprised (or maybe not surprised) at how much Adidas crap we have in the house now. During the first 100 work days of this pandemic I wore a costume every day for everyone’s online amusement, and had several three-striped outfits thrown in the mix. I guess this is it, guys. This is my three-stripe life now. So what color is your tracksuit?
Black and fuchsia – Three Stripe Life
PS – my mother bought our youngest a three-stripe jacket for Christmas. Thank you, Jerome
LOL! He’s so proud (or smug)!