Oktoberfest in Texas: What to Wear

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It’s that time of year again!  Not pumpkin spice latte time, but Oktoberfest!  That magical time of year to embrace your Bavarian ancestry, or if you lack the ancestry, it’s that magical time of year where beer, brats, and boobs are highly celebrated.

 

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Oktoberfest is celebrated in Austria and Germany mid-September through the first weekend in October.  But here in Houston we wait until October because it’s hot as a mofo in September.  Around Houston we have Oktoberfest themed weekend at the Texas Renaissance Festival, Houston Oktoberfest, and Oktoberfest at King’s Biergarten, to name a few events.  Wondering what to wear to these events?  I’ll help shed some local light on dressing the part without looking like an American idiot.

 

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Men:

 

Do:

  • Break them in, wear them around the house so they don’t squeak or chafe
  • Grab a big ass beer, find a hilltop field, and stand there like you own the land and all in it (just don’t get cocky)

 

Don’t:

  • Wear a t-shirt with your lederhosen (you just spent over $100 on leather pants, have some respect!)
  • Wear white athletic socks (show this to your wife so she can dress you properly)

 

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Women:

 

Do:

  • Show off “the girls” like the sweet beer wench you are
  • Wear your hair down or in a conservative braid/bun/flower crown combo (but make an effort!)
  • Wear an age appropriate dirndl length
    • Long- sophisticated “seasoned” woman
    • Midi- pretty much everyone else
    • Mini- waitresses, beer wenches, and sorority girls who usually dress as a “sexy cat” every Halloween (just don’t, ok?)
  • Tie your apron on the proper side
    • Your left- single and ready to mingle
    • Your right- married/taken/spoken for
    • Middle- “maiden”

 

Don’t:

  • Wear the mini length if you’re actually going to Bavarian Germany or Austria (just don’t, ok?)
  • Try to change up or modernize the look (it’s called “traditional” for a reason)

 

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Have a great time at Oktoberfest!  And….prost!

 

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